不要说自己没有工作,主动些 朋友, love

DZ

I love meeting new people, even if it makes me a little nervous. But one set of words that I hear at mixers and networking events makes me really want to run for the hills. You may have uttered these words. And I want to share some alternatives with you, so that you’ll make more connections, rather than having people dash off.

我喜欢认识新朋友，即便这会让我感到有些紧张。但从交友活动中听到的一些话让我真想逃之夭夭。你也许会说出这些话。我希望和你分享一些别的说法，这样你会交到更多的朋友而不是让人们对你避之不及。

Last night, I attended a fun networking event in Berkeley, full of people who are on LinkedIn. The event was hosted by Ilene Koehler, who set us up in speed-dating fashion, to mix and mingle for five minutes per “couple,” and then move on. I noticed that three of the people I met immediately introduced themselves by saying something like this:

昨天晚上，我在伯克利参加了一个有趣的交友活动。很多人是LinkedIn社交网站的网友。 这次活动的主持人是Ilene Koehler。她主持我们进行速配约会，每“一对”交流五分钟，然后换不同的对象。我发现我见到的人中有三个直接这样介绍自己：

“Hi. I’m John Doe. And I’m unemployed.”

“嗨，我叫John Doe，我没工作。”

Shoot, this isn’t an AA meeting. But those initial words left me feeling awkward and sorry for my fellow networkers. Somehow, I felt obligated, like I was supposed to help out. The energy between us felt heavy. So I actually told one of these networkers, “Hey, you shouldn’t say your unemployed. Say you’re between jobs. Or tell people that you’re looking for a new job in whatever field you’d enjoy.” He got the point immediately. He smiled. He felt better about himself.

晕，这不是一次AA制聚会。这样的开场白让我觉得窘迫，并为同来的人们感到抱歉。不知为什么，我觉得我必须帮助他们。我们两人之间的气氛变得很凝重。于是我告诉其中一位：“嘿，你不必说自己没有工作。说你正在求职。或者告诉别人你正在寻找一份自己喜欢的工作。”他立刻明白，笑了笑，觉得轻松多了。

You see, saying “I’m unemployed” tells people what you’re not. And, in this case, it communicates “I’m not employed.” To me, saying “I’m unemployed” sounds a little bit like you don’t feel like you fit in with the world. Look, my friends,　your self-worth is not determined by your job.

你看，说“没有工作”是在告诉别人自己“不是什么”。 此时，它传递的是“我没有工作”的含义。但是对我而言，它听上去有点像是你觉得自己没有融入这个世界。嗨，朋友们，你的自我价值不是由你的工作决定的。

I invite you to consider what really makes up your self-worth—like your caring heart, or your ability to stand tall in the face of adversity. But please know that you are not a social misfit just because some company has not decided to bring you on board. Or some organization decided to let you go. A company is not your family, believe it or not. So, if you don’t “belong” to a company, you’re still a living, breathing, talented human being.

请你想一想到底是什么构成了你的自我价值——比如：关爱之心、面对逆境坚强不屈的精神。但是要知道，仅仅是某公司没有录用你或者当某个企业让你走人并不表明你是社会中的“另类”。公司不是你的家，信不信由你。所以，如果你不“属于”一个公司，你还是一个活着的、呼吸着的、有才华的人。

zhoujiazui741

How to get along with sb is an important knowledge !

DZ

You just haven’t found the place where you fit in yet. Well, okay, that’s fine, but what now you’re wondering what to say when people ask you, “Where do you work?” or “What do you do?” These seem to be the quintessential questions that Americans like to ask each other when they first meet. How can you reply?

你只是还没找到一个适合自己的地方。啊，好吧，可是现在你会想，当人们问你：“在哪里工作？”或“你是做什么的?”，这些美国人初次见面时惯用的问题，怎么回答？

I invite you, first of all, not to feel ashamed that you aren’t working. I know it can be daunting to manage your finances, and the anxiety about the date that you’ll have a job can get overwhelming. Instead, think about how you can connect. You’re meeting someone new. What do you want from the interaction? Do you want us to feel sorry for you, dear unemployed person? Or could you be a bit vulnerable and ask for help? You could say something like: “I’m between jobs. I just left a company that does X. And now, I’m looking to join a company that does Y. Hey, I wonder if you know any companies like that?” or … “I am a job seeker (Hey, that’s a much cooler title than being the unemployed person, right? How does that feel?). I am committed to finding an employer who would value my talents in X, Y, and Z. I’d love your ideas about companies that might fit that bill.” See, now you’re engaging the other person.

首先，请不要因为自己没工作而感到羞愧。我知道管理你的财务会令人畏惧，而找工作时的约会可能让人焦虑、难以应对。相反，考虑一下自己该如何交流。你正在结识新朋友。你希望从交往中得到什么？你要我们为你感到遗憾吗，亲爱的没工作的人？ 或者你能脆弱一点，寻求帮助吗？你可以说：“我正在求职中，我刚刚离开了一家从事X的公司。现在我在找一家做Y的公司。 嗨，你了解这样的公司吗？”或者说；“我是一名求职者(嗨，这可比‘无业人’的头衔酷多了，是不是？感觉如何?) 我在努力找一位重视我在X，Y和Z方面的才华的雇主。我很想听听你对符合条件的公司的看法。”瞧，现在你正在吸引对方呢。

You’re not trying to get them to find you the job … it’s not that strong a tone. You’re inviting them to help out. That’s vulnerable. But you’re not victimizing yourself by calling yourself “unemployed.” You’re actively pursuing new avenues for your job search.

你并没有让对方为你找工作……语气没那么强烈。你在找他们帮忙。这是“脆弱”。 但是你没有牺牲自己，自称“失业人员”。你在为求职积极地寻找新路子。

Changing the language of “I’m unemployed” to one of the alternatives I’ve suggested is a way to shift your attitude and energy. I encourage you to notice how different words make you feel. Unemployed is not generally a pretty word. And you don’t have to use it as a label for yourself. You might fight me here and say, “But it’s true. I’m not employed.” And I’d tell you simply, “If you want to hang on to that energy, be my guest. But if you’d like to shift that energy sooner, rather than later, don’t wait for an employer to change the picture. Decide to lighten up on yourself and call yourself something else.”

把“失业”这句话变成我建议的说法是一种转变态度和精力的方式。我建议你注意下不同的话给你带来的感觉有何不同。总的来说，失业不是个漂亮的字眼。你用不着给自己贴上这样的标签。可能你要反驳我了：“但是事实如此，我失业了。”我会简单地告诉你：“如果你希望对此揪住不放，请随便。但是如果迟早你会希望改变这一状态。别等着某雇主来改变你的状况。下决心让自己放松，以别的方式介绍自己。”

Follow this advice and I bet you’ll be employed much sooner! I’d love to hear how this suggestion works for you.

遵循这个建议，我打赌你很快就会找到工作! 我很希望了解这个建议对你是如何起效的。

asdf11

就是呀,支持一下子楼主