这四句如何翻译？ 翻译

alai

（一）Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.
（二）Grandparents are similar to a piece of string-handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren
（三）Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half an stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
（四）People hardest to convince that it’s time for retirement are children at bedtime.