标题: 对“建议”的建议 A Word on Advice [打印本页] 作者: 幽幽草 时间: 2007-4-5 17:05 标题: 对“建议”的建议 A Word on Advice
Webster defines advice as being, "a recommendation with regard to a course of action."
韦氏字典给“建议”一词定义如下：“对某行为提出意见或忠告。”
The expression, "I need some advice" has to be one of the most horrifying statements in the English language. What makes it remarkably terrifying is that the advisor is usually confronted with it out of the blue and with little or no warning. My daughter is an expert at this. Lately I have been able to predict when she will call. It usually happens when I am having the type of day when everything seems to be going well. I am actually relaxed with few things that have to be done. It is almost as if I send out a signal to her that I am ready for the challenge. The call always begins with the expression, "Dad". The word is not as important as how it is stated. It sounds like a question being asked by someone who does not want to be heard. In other words, it is a little quieter than a whisper. I know she knows it is I, because she did the calling and I am confident that she knows the sound of my voice. It is almost as if the word is a signal that I had better be ready.
When my daughter was small I looked forward to giving her advice. In fact, I sincerely believe that she also enjoyed it. For the most important thing a Dad can do is get his child ready for life. Not that I ever thought I was ready but at least I have been able to survive my years, so far. She used to sit real close to me or on my lap and I would explain the mysteries of life to her. I would tell her of morals and ethics that made life as good as it can possibly be. Years later, when my daughter hit the wonderful teenaged years, she didn't accept my advice as she did in the past. In fact, she obviously dreaded it. However, I gave it to her anyway because I wanted her to survive her teenaged years. I survived them so why shouldn't she listen to me and take in the knowledge that I had from the experiences of my past. For years she never came to me for advice but I continued to submit it. Now that I think of it, my father did the same.
当女儿还很小的时候，我很渴望给她建议。事实上，我坚信她会很乐意接受。一名父亲最重要的职责就是让孩子能准备充分地面对生活。倒不是说我就准备好了，但至少这么多年来我能够在社会上生存下来。以前她常依偎在我身旁、或趴在我腿上听我解释生活中令她疑惑的事情。同时我还会给她讲一些伦理道德，尽量让生活过得更有质量。几年以后，女儿步入了花样的青春期，她不再接受我的意见。其实我看得出她很害怕。不管怎样，我还是给出了我的意见，因为我希望她能平稳地度过那个阶段。我是过来人，为什么她就是听不进我的前车之鉴呢？多年来她都缄口不提此事，但是我仍继续给她建议。直到现在我回想起来才发现我的父亲也是这样
Soon, too soon, she left and started her own life. It was as though our separation necessitated that she would once again need, and seek out, my advice. At first this was a good thing, in that I appreciated the fact that she thought my wisdom was worth the time. After awhile I came to the realization that I might not always be right. I started to fear my own answers to her questions.
My daughter is not the only person in my life that asks for advice. My wife does it in an odd way. I know she knows the answer to her question but it is almost as though she wants to combine mine with hers. Sometimes when I give her advice she takes it in and basically makes her own decisions. Other times she gives me that odd look that asks, "What planet were you born on?" Either way I do my best.
My parents have started to ask for my advice. This was very difficult for me to understand. Most of my life my father and mother were the ones to direct me on how I should handle certain situations. They were the ones who survived their years so that they could direct me toward correct decisions. Now the roles seem to be reversed. I guess I should take it as a compliment because this shifting of roles means that they have finally come to the realization that I am capable of making correct choices. Now, if I could only believe this same realization and finally relax in my new role.
My folk's questions usually surround their preparation for the final stages of their lives. I hate these situations because, if I admit that they are getting old, I am literally resigning myself to the fact that I am not far off. I answer their questions as best as I can, praying that I am advising them to do the right things but how could I possibly know? Unlike giving advice to my daughter, giving advice to my parents involves me guessing what to do without the experience of going through what they are presently going through. I guess they ask me because they trust me, like I have always trusted them.
朋友们的问题总纠缠在行将之日上。我讨厌这样的问题,因为如果我承认他们老了，那我也只好听天由命等死了。我尽全力去回答他们的问题，然后期望我的话行之有效，但我又怎么能知道呢？不像给女儿和父母建议，因为我没有经历过他们正经历的事情，所以建议中夹杂了我的猜测。我想他们问我是因为信任我，就如同我一直信任他们一样。
I am a teacher. In fact, I am a high school teacher who works with young adults who are about to embark on careers that include college, the military, or work. Every day I am asked questions concerning how they should organize for their futures, away from a life that centered on their public school. Most people don't realize that graduating from high school is one of the last "rights of passage" our society has. This is true because these young children are leaving a time that had taken up over 75% of their young lives.
So, I advice them as to what industries will be important when they get out of college; what military service they should look into, in order to achieve what they think they want to achieve. Sometimes just to tell these young men and women that life is a wonderful thing and that they are fortunate to be in a stage of their lives where they are about to become adults. Every time they leave I pray that I gave them good advice. I know I did my best.
Sometimes people I don't know ask for my advice. The parents of my students usually ask what they should do to make their child's future bright. Sometimes they ask what they should do because their child doesn't listen or doesn't believe what they are telling them. I assume they ask me because they believe a teacher should know the answers. Either that or they look at my gray hair and beard and believe that my age necessitates my ability to know.
The basic problem with Webster's definition of advice is that it doesn't take into account the advisor. Does the advisor understand the problem and have the ability to help with a decision? In the past, did I give my daughter, parents, students, and strangers the correct advice?
