It's not easy to have a great relationship with your boy/girlfriend, partner, or spouse. Here are a few of the things that cause people to destroy their own relationships.
想要维系和恋人、伴侣或爱人的感情并不是一件容易的事情。人们是这样毁了他们的爱情的：
1.You're playing to win
你们总是想要赢对方
One of the deadliest killers of relationships is the competitive urge, the attitude that the relationship itself is a kind of game that you're tying to win. People in competitive relationships are always looking for an advantage, the upper hand, some edge they can hold over their partner's head.
爱情的一大致命杀手就是竞争欲望：把感情当作比赛，总是想要赢过对方。处在竞争关系中的人总是想要寻找自己的优势，占尽上风，尽握对方的把柄。
2.You don't trust
你们不信任彼此
There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won't leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say.
感情的信任包括两层含义：足够信任你的伴侣，明白他不会欺骗也不会伤害你，同时也了解他也是如此的信任着你；足够信任你的爱人，明白不管你说什么做什么，他都不会离开或者不再爱你。
3. You don't talk
你们不交流
Too many people hold their tongues about things that bother or upset them in their relationship, either because they don't want to hurt their partner, or because they're trying to win. Ultimately, keeping quiet reflects a lack of trust — and, as I said that's the death of a relationship.
太多的人沉默无言，对感情中让他们烦恼或者不安的细节只字不提，也许是因为不想伤害对方，也许是因为太想要赢而不愿意示弱。缄默不语其实是缺乏信任的表现，这是爱情的死穴。
4. You don't listen
你们不倾听
Listening — really listening — is hard. It's normal to want to defend ourselves when we hear something that seems like criticism, so instead of really hearing someone out, we interrupt to explain or excuse ourselves, or we turn inward to prepare our defense. If you can't listen actively, at least to the person you love, there's a problem.
真正的倾听很难。听到类似批评的话语时，我们想要为自己辩护，这很正常，所以我们不听对方把话说完就开始打断，解释，为自己找借口，或者在心中准备防守。如果对你爱的人你都无法主动倾听，那就有问题了。
5. You spend like a single person
你还像个单身的人过活
When you're single, you can buy whatever you want, whenever you want, with little regard for the future. It's not necessarily wise, but you're the only one who has to pay the consequences. When you are with someone in a long-term relationship, that is no longer a possibility. If you're spending money as if it was your money and nobody else has a right to tell you what to do with it, your relationship is doomed.
单身的时候，想买什么买什么，随时随地随心所欲，一点不想着将来。这很不明智，但是我们是唯一要为后果付出代价的人。当你长期跟某人交往时，这一切就不再成为可能。如果你还是像以前一样大手大脚觉得别人没权利对你指手画脚，那么你们的感情就完了。作者: tingroom 时间: 2011-12-17 15:11
i think it is not love if there is no trust
where are the other five?作者: 雨落风残 时间: 2011-12-17 18:28
I don't know. This article only listed five of that.
