I've never worshiped any movie star or pop singer. But I did adore some people who achieved a lot in literature or who I thought was respectable for his/her spirit.

When I was in high school, I read a collection of essays written by Yu qiuyu. The name of the book was “Wenhua Kulv”. I liked it so much and read it again and again. I even bought every book which was related to him. Yu qiuyu was my idol at that time. But later, I found out that he was not such a respectable person in some aspects.

When I first started to learn English, I knew that there was a great woman named Zhang hanzhi who once was Chairman Mao's English teacher. She was so great and so elegant. Sometimes I wish I could reach 1% of her success in life. But recently, I heard that she once abandoned her first husband and once did some very bad things to our respectable Prime Minister Zhou enlai. She was not so beautiful in some way, and I was so depressed after knowing that.  

When I was very young, I read a lot of essays written by Wu danru. She was a beautiful and smart woman in my heart. I adored her so much and always talked of her with my friends. But recently, I knew that she was so much unfriendly to us.

So many such things happened and I just want to ask “Where is my idol?”