One night, my seven-year-old son, Tom, and I were scanning the TV listings for something to watch.
“Oh, there’s a beauty contest on,” I said. Tom asked me what a beauty contest was, and I explained that it was a contest to choose the most beautiful woman in the world.
Then my son thrilled me by asking with complete sincerity, “Why aren’t you in the contest, Mommy?You are the most beautiful woman in the world.
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbors pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbors house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, Did you hear that Fluffy died? The guy stammers and says, Um...no...um...what happened?. The neighbor replies, We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!
1 I agree that mother is the most beautiful woman in the world. she has done a lot for us.
2 value your life. you may lose your life tomorrow. who can predict future ? nobody
3 don't try to cheat anybody. lying is not a good habit.作者: pady401 时间: 2011-6-17 08:36
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回复 2# 李武军