You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, and all your tests indicate that the only way it would have any effect at all on an enemy plane is if you could somehow sneak into the cockpit and whack the pilot over the head with it. How should you deal with this problem?

YOU SHOULD:

1.Try really hard to do a better job

2.Tell the Defense Department that they should get another contractor

3.Refund at least some of the taxpayers' money

4.Offer to redesign the weapon at no cost to the taxpayers

CORRECT ANSWER: What problem ?

You are a major automobile manufacturer. You have been losing sales to cars from other nations, particularly Japan, because their cars tend to be fuel efficient, technologically advanced, and extremely well made, whereas the most innovative concept you have come up with in the past two decades is the opera window.

YOU SHOULD:

1.Have Congress restrict Japanese imports, so consumers will have no choice

2.Have Congress offer a very large tax incentive for buying your car(s)

3.Have Congress order the United States Army to order them as Staff cars

4.Sneak Pearl Harbor clips into all your ad campaigns

CORRECT ANSWER: Any or all are acceptable

You are a major condom manufacturer with national distribution contracts. Your latest tests reveal that your products have a major structural flaw which makes them 86% ineffective. Faced with multi-million dollar losses, not to mention a population increase.

YOU SHOULD:

1.Alter your sales slogan to, "Sure, you're taking a chance, but we got ya covered. Uh Huh."

2.Cut one third off and shift your sales emphasis to China, they won't know the difference

3.Sell them to kids as Super Morbid Teenage Turtle Ranger Power Party Balloons

4.Add an limited liability agreement to the package label absolving you totally

CORRECT ANSWER: All of the above

You are a large seafood processor distributing throughout the U.S. Your inspectors have discovered a sizable amount of the recently shipped product is contaminated by an undersea pollutant. The contamination is not deadly to humans,

but simulates the aftereffects of a nauseous three day drinking binge. As a responsible business person,

YOU SHOULD:

1.Contact the Center for Disease Control and the national media to alert the public

2.Announce an immediate recall of your products, but use your competitor's return address

3.Do not acknowledge the problem for at least ten years

4.Launch an ad campaign to promote the product as a natural laxative

CORRECT ANSWER: Swear off all seafood for a couple of months