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标题: [长假游记]泰山游 [打印本页]

作者: zxfvivid 时间: 2010-10-8 13:17 标题: [长假游记]泰山游

本帖最后由 mickey918 于 2010-10-8 16:24 编辑

                                                         The mountain Tai tour
   In the Golden week,We climbed the mountain Tai.
   We set out for the first one nights,the next morning we came to the foot of the mountain Tai.We had no sooner had breakfast than we climbed it.For the first time in our life,we climbed the Sacred mountain which was called the first mountain - Dongyue.
   'This is the hightest mountain I have ever seen,'but we were confident climb to the top.
Climbed and climbed,we spend six hours reaching the top.'We climb so tired that we can't walk.'To make matters worse,tourist covered every inch of land space.We had a plentiful of food to supply energy.
' After climbing the mountain Tai people who do not want to climb the mountain.'The tour guide said.
   Although we were tired,we played very happy.
  十一黄金周我们去爬了泰山。
  我们头一天晚上开始启程，第二天早上到达泰山脚下。我们一吃过早饭，就开始爬泰山。我们生平第一次爬被称为五岳之首的山--东岳。
  这是我所见过的最高的山，我们有信心爬到山顶。我们爬啊爬，经过六个小时的爬行，到达了山顶。我们如此的累，以至于我们不能再走动了。更糟糕的是，每一寸土地上都站满了人。我们有充足的食物补充能量。
  “凡爬过泰山的人都说以后再也不想爬山了”导游说。
  虽然很累，但我们玩得很开心。

作者: mickey918 时间: 2010-10-8 15:08

发现的错误我先来试着改一下吧不当之处欢迎大家指正：
1.We set out for the first one nights---------------on the first night即可
first 第一与one 意思上重复然后 night 用单数就好了此处介词应该用on比较恰当吧我这么觉得啊（其实关于这些基本的语法内容我自己也已经记不大清了只是感觉上不妥应该这样而已说错了您也别见怪啊）
2.For the first time in our life---------lives （plural）
3.'but we were confident climb to the top------------------be confident in doing??? 里面应该还有个介词的吧就是不知道是不是 in了哈哈哈
4.we spend six hours reaching the top---------------spendt 时态一致
5.tourist covered every inch of land space-----------the tourists
=================That's all!Thanks!===================
Thanks a lot for your attending! Good job you did!

作者: 小雅儿 时间: 2010-10-8 20:48

1 ' After climbing the mountain Tai（Mount. Tai） people( who )这里没有必要用定语从句，后面是谓语和宾语的成分 do not want to climb the mountain.'
2 Although we were tired,we played very happy.
玩得开心，一定要用play吗？这样表达很Chinglish. Although we were tired,we had a lot of fun.而且修饰动词要用副词happily.
3.We had a plentiful of food to supply energy. plentiful在这里不能这样用，改成plenty.此外，补充能量用refill就可以了，比较地道。

作者: 品味出众 时间: 2010-10-9 19:22

1.The mountain Tai tour----------Mountain Tai tour感觉这样更好点
2.but we were confident climb to the top.------------confident to climb to the top.运用的短语为confident to do something。
3.'This is the hightest mountain I have ever seen --------I had ever seen. 过去时
4.Climbed and climbed-------这句应该删掉！
5.'We climb so tired that we can't walk------We were so tired that we could not walk这样更顺畅
一点小想法！希望对你有些帮助，加油！

作者: drshvsdrsh 时间: 2010-11-3 09:11

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