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Are you an ALL OR NOTHING person? Here’s How to Change
Some of us lack a couple of gears; it’s either full power ahead or nothing. Do you suffer from that? I do. My All or Nothing mode was forged a long ago.
I bounced home from school after Sports Day, “Mummy, Mummy - I got second place in the 100 metre sprints today!!”
My mother looked at me in concern, “Second place? Oh, what went wrong?”
You get the picture? No wonder I’m an All or Nothing girl!
All or Nothing thinking says, “You either do this perfectly, or you don’t even bother.” It’s one of the biggest blocks to making positive changes in your life. It’s one of the biggest blocks to making your life work at all.
Pro’s:
You tend to achieve more in life
You end up highly skilled in variety of areas
You are able to focus on one thing and go for it it
You have high expectations of yourself
You never suffer from boredom
Con’s
You tend to be a bit highly strung (神经过敏)
To kick back and relax is difficult
You tend to overuse your body
You find it difficult to just do things for fun without wanting to achieve excellence
You are hard on yourself
It can sabotage(v. 破坏)effort
We could try something together. We could focus for one week on what is betwixt and between(模棱两可): the fading light in the evening, the turning of the tide, the shift between sleeping and waking, or the many other moments when soft change occurs. Maybe we could share our experiences of this in the comments.
我们中的一些人如汽车一样少了一些排档:要么整个人被调整到最大功率,要么一动不动。你正遭遇这种情况嘛?我遭遇过。我这种凡事都爱苛求完美的做事方式是很早以前就养成了的习惯。
那一次,我参加完运动会,从学校蹦蹦跳跳地冲回家,欢快/欢欣地说道:“妈妈,妈妈,今天我在100米短跑中得了第二名。”
我母亲关切地看着我,问道:“第二名?啊,出什么问题了吗?”
你知道是怎么一回事了嘛?这也就难怪我成了一个凡事都爱苛求完美的人。
凡事喜欢苛求完美的思维是这样的:“要做就做最好,否则碰都别碰。”这对你生命积极的改变来说是最大的障碍,也完全是让你生活不能正常进行的最大阻碍。
优点:
·你的生命里会有更多成就。
·你在许多领域都会很出色。
·你能专注于一件事并且大胆尝试。
·你对自己有很高的期望。
·你永远都不会觉得无聊。
缺点:
· 你往往非常神经质。
· 你若想放松一下,会很难。
· 你往往会过度使用自己的身体。
· 你发觉如果没有想取得成就的欲望,就很难仅仅为了高兴做事。
· 你对自己很苛刻。
· 它可能挫败士气。
我们应该一起尝试些事情。我们可以一周时间把注意力放到一些不好不坏的事情上来:傍晚渐渐退隐的日光,张涨落落的潮汐,沉睡与苏醒的交替,或者是任何有温和变化发生的时刻。或许,我们能在评论中分享这样的经历。 |
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