“做你自己！”在面试、约会前或是其他需要给人以深刻印象的场合，我们常常听到这一司空见惯的忠告。不过，这个忠告听起来怪怪的。你怎么能不是你自己呢？
Strange as it seems, we have been conditioned all our lives to behave according to other people’s expectations, to dance to their tune, to let them pull our strings (在幕后操纵). The truth is that most of us—unless we have really thought about it and made an effort to change—are puppets, controlled by the world around us. We crave (渴望) approval. We need to fit in. In many ways, this is just a characteristic of being human—we are social animals and need to fit into the group to survive. But this natural and healthy tendency has taken over our lives to such an extent that we are often paralyzed (使瘫痪) by a fear of the outside world and obsessed by how others see us.
虽然听起来有点怪，但我们一生的确受制于各种约束，按照他人的期望行事，随着他人的节奏起舞，任由他人在幕后操纵。事实上，我们大多数的人都是傀儡，受周围世界的操控——除非我们真正认真思考过这个问题，并尝试去改变。我们渴望社会认可。我们需要融入社会。从很大程度上说，这正是人类的特性——我们是社会性的动物，需要融入群体才能生存下去。但这种自然、健康的特性却牢牢控制了我们的生活，以至于我们时时诚惶诚恐，害怕面对外部的世界，为别人对自己的看法而烦恼不已。
But what would things look life if you could really “be yourself”?
但假如我们真的能够“做自己”，事情又会怎样呢？
Don’t give away your power
“The King is angry. See, he gnaws his lip.”——Shakespeare, Richard III
不要放弃自己的力量“国王生气了。看，他在咬自己的嘴唇。”——莎士比亚：《理查三世》
It is impossible to really be yourself when you are worried about how other people perceive you. We all care (at least a little bit) what other people think—we have been raised to believe that the approval of others is important. And in some ways it is—other people do have power over us. But the truth is that it doesn’t matter as much as you think; usually it doesn’t matter at all. Sometimes you’ll be flavor (香味) of the month; other times you might be public enemy number one. But you cannot control what other people think of you, so why even try?
如果你总是为他人如何看待你而烦恼不已，那就不可能真正做自己。我们都在乎(至少有一点点)他人的看法——从小到大，我们都被灌输这样的信条：他人的认可非常重要。在某些方面确实如此——他人对我们的确有影响力。但事实是，这影响力并不像你想的那么重要；通常情况下它根本无关紧要。有时你可能是红极一时的宠儿，有时又可能成为千夫所指的公敌。但既然你无法控制别人对你的看法，又何必在乎呢？
Let them think what they will. To give the opinions and thoughts of others so much importance is to make your own life a misery. When you stop giving your power away to other people like this, your life will be so much lighter and easier.
别人爱怎么想就怎么想吧。过于看重他人的意见和想法只会把自己的生活搞得一团糟。当你不再放弃自己的力量而倚重他人，你就能生活得更加轻松、自在。