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标题: 【求助】小作文修改——talent~~ [打印本页]

作者: angela_613    时间: 2010-10-26 14:28     标题: 【求助】小作文修改——talent~~

Title:Consider your talents and strengths, academic and otherwise. What is one thing you do really well?

My friends always describe me as a versatile girl and I owe it to my extraordinary ability of hosting and performing. Dates back to my elementary school I was the host and represent of graduation ceremony. Vividly does the applause reverberate in my mind the power of confidence always motivate me to be more brave and outstanding. During my high school years, I almost undertake the whole host responsibility for parties, competition and ceremonies. In my sophomore year, I hold the Chorus Competition and received the mayor of Hefei, the location of my high school. When I entered university, I host the Campus Singers Competition (a traditional activity hold every year), Sports Meeting of College of Engineering and Technology (the biggest biennial sports event in my college) and the Liyun Cup Debating (the biggest debating in my university). I was also a member of campus art group where I practice my ability of hosting every week with other members. Beyond that, my tasks gradually expanded to organize and direct the activities. During my sophomore year I was a secretary in the Anime Club. My main responsibility was organizing performances. I organize a cosplay show for Guangzhou Animation Carnival (the biggest animation activity in Guangzhou during that year) , a drama for National Day Ceremony (the biggest biennial ceremony in my university) and some performances in different universities festival (we performance successfully in three universities in my city).

------------------------我是个人背景分界线------------------------

在申请中写的小作文,由于写作水平有限,希望大家帮我润色润色

BG:非211&985的非牛人  单纯是想去更大的世界追寻梦想

    个人文艺活动经验丰富所以选了这个方面写talent

    我词汇较贫乏,结构组织也一般,虚心请求大家的意见

    thank you very much!!


作者: tingroom    时间: 2010-10-28 08:38

回复 1# angela_613


    after reading your article,i find that you are really good at English.
作者: liuchen    时间: 2010-10-28 12:34

me too
作者: 小雅儿    时间: 2010-10-31 13:40

Dates back to my elementary school           Dates------Dating
a traditional activity hold every year            hold------held
what are you  trying to tell?
your rich experience?
作者: 月下望天    时间: 2010-11-3 07:11

During my high school years, I almost undertake(undertook) the whole host responsibility for parties, competition and ceremonies。
作者: 月下望天    时间: 2010-11-3 07:15

I was also a member of campus art group where I practice(practiced) my ability of hosting every week with other members.
作者: 月下望天    时间: 2010-11-3 07:16

I organize (organized)a cosplay show for Guangzhou Animation Carnival
作者: 月下望天    时间: 2010-11-3 07:19

good luck,i hope you to success.




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