Fun at State Highway Highway, Fun, State

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Fun at State Highway

When I was with the Maryland State Highway Administration, if you weren't part of the problem, all that meant is that you were working without the direct supervision of a Senior Manager.

At a public hearing held by the Maryland State Highway Administration for the purpose of citizens to comment on the "alternates" on building a new roadway which would claim a great deal of housing or fertile farmland or some really scenic areas, an elderly farmer stood up to take his turn in the crowded room:

"Y'all got some damn smart engineers there, don't ya ?"

(The moderator assured the speaker many were highly qualified.)

"Y'all got some that ain't so damn smart too, don't ya ?

(The moderator agreed that indeed some had more experience.)

The man paused and scratched his head, then concluded with,

"Damn hard to tell the difference, ain't it ?"

My Boss had a sign on his wall that always gave me pause:

"Beware. Age and treachery always triumph over youth and talent." 　

This one Senior Manager hired a consultant to evaluate pay equity, and spent in excess of $380,000 on the study.

The Administrator then determined that only $8,750 remained in the budget to make the recommended salary adjustments.

Right or wrong, a good number of openings for summer jobs at the State Highway were filled by the sons and daughters of our upper level management. Most of the career employees treated these privileged few with kid gloves. I however had never been accused of having good common sense. It was my unpleasant chore to dress down one of the soon-to-be rising stars (the son of our Chief Engineer) for a rather costly error he had made.

After I finished, apparently unable to think of anything else to say, the lad stammered,

"Do you know who my Father is ?"

I paused, looked at him, then said in my most sympathetic voice,

"Why no, I'm afraid I don't. Don't you ?"

Quote from a infamous Quality Assurance meeting:

"We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done."

Quote from a Senior Manager...

"I didn't say it was your fault.

I said I was going to blame it on you."

A motivational sign at work:

"The beatings will continue until morale improves.

A direct quote from the Boss:

"We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."

And get this quote from a telephone inquiry concerning a summer student position:

"We're only hiring one summer intern this year and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss'

daughter finishes her summer classes."

A lot of the Senior Managers at the Maryland State Highway frequently got lost in thought; but that's only because it was unfamiliar territory.

My Boss said to me one time:

"What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier."

I always thought all the Senior Managers needed surge protectors. I reasoned that way their mouths would be buffered from surprise spikes in their brains.

I always thought my Boss was a bastard, and retired, to work for myself. My new Boss is a bastard, too... but at least

I respect him.

Most of the Senior Managers I knew gave automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. They walked, talked and performed rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a spine.

Quote from the Administrator after overriding the decision of a Quality Assurance Break-Thru Team he created to find a solution to a problem:

"I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"